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Words and phrases like "food police", "storm" and "force" give the reader a mental picture of SWAT teams busting through windows and taking coke cans and mars bars prisoners, whilst stocking canteens with carrot juice and "boiled zucchini".
Mitchell's use of sarcasm and humour through-out the article is used to show how much of a joke these bans are, by referring the "lunch box inspectors" who check to see that the students only bring in State approved "tasteless Left-wing vegetarian cardboard" and that grants will be given to who ever can build a junk food detector to capture any student who dares bring in "serious contraband, such as Coca-Cola or, heaven forbid, evil flavoured sugar drops or jellybeans...
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