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However, the brain is not where feelings reside; it is where they are intellectually processed. Consequently, asking a student "why" is essentially asking for an explanation. Therefore, asking "why" often promotes a sense of confrontation and judgment which puts a student on the defensive, as if s/he has to justify her/himself to you. As a result the situation has become about your needs not hers/his.
On the other hand, asking "what" is a neutral question which does not imply judgment. It is a simple question which promotes a reporting of events and/or feelings; an important first step when trying to resolve behavioral issues...
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