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What I thought was my alarm clock rudely resurrecting me from what I describe, as the deepest and most relaxing sleep of my life, was actually the fire alarm in my apartment complex! I rushed to look outside my window to see what was going on. To my amazement, I saw the Pillsbury doughboy looking right at me with his big, round sapphire blue eyes. He was ivory in color and appeared to be squeezablely soft, like Charmin toilet paper. He wore a white satiny baker’s cap that displayed a blue Pillsbury emblem and fashioned a lily-white handkerchief around his neck. Let me remind you that I live on the fifth floor of a high-rise building downtown, so can image how enormously tall he was if he was able to see me through my bedroom window! Suddenly, he broke my window and demandingly said in a raspy voice, “YOU MUST COME WITH ME!”, “BETTY CROCKER NEEDS YOUR HELP; SHE HAS SENT ME TO SUMMON YOU FOR THE PURPOSE OF SAVING DUNCAN HINES AND GENERAL MILLS FROM THE EVIL MARTHA STEWART!” At this point, I was thinking; you have to be kidding! I turned to him and said, “Listen here, Mr...
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