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There are gender differences. Men feel more betrayed by their wives having sex with someone else; women feel more betrayed by their husbands being emotionally involved with someone else. What really tears men apart is to visualize their partner being sexual with somebody else. Women certainly don’t want their husbands having sex with somebody else, but if it’s an impersonal one-night fling, they may be able to deal with that better than if their husband was involved in a long-term relationship sharing all kinds of loving ways with somebody else
Q: And it is deeply traumatic.
A: It’s terrible—unless you cheated on each other during your engagement, or you or your partner came from a family where everybody cheated on everybody, or you come from certain cultures where the women don’t take it that much to heart, because that’s the way men are thought to be...
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