The Sequel

Essay text:

this is something I will reflect on when I am grown, people see the person or see his mask, but everything to do with his kids is just a task, I love my father I will love him to death, matter of fact I will love him until my last breath, but I wish he showed me a little respect , im not a little boy no more , makes sense, I know he was the first to leave when got tense, you see when I was younger I loved him the same as my mum, but im smart now back then I was only young, my mum was there through thick and thin, my dad wasn’t even there to see my life begin, dear dad didn’t really justify anything, now I will tell you why I just cant win, the amount of love for him will never change, my disgust for his actions grows more with age, see no matter what im glad to have him alive, but his fathering mechanism needs to be revived, It takes two to do everything or so im told, but it seems as soon as step mums came into my loves been sold, see I don’t hate my step mum just angry she stole dad, and no one will ever no what I could have had, might of seen him more than 5 times a year, when I think of my dad I don’t want to shed a tear, I want to be cheerfull and proud, I want to be able to brag to crouds, chorus- ive learnt a lot over the years and growing up, ive learnt from birthdays without my dad showing up, told myself to stop drinking when im throwing up, learnt to stop argueing and stop testing my luck, sometimes I sit down and just start to cry, looking at the moon and screaming why, why must I be subdued to so many lies, I know hes not thinking of me when I go out at night, I know I have a mother stressing at home, I know it hurts I when I leave her alone, this is the answer to your question why don’t I stay in touch, but asking me to do this is a bit to much, the reason being is because you live so far away, and when I talk to you I don’t have much to say, come on dad you should understand, there was no father when you were growing up no man to hold your hand, I would of thought you would have learnt from your own life, well im learning as I speak and as I slowly write, I know I will never grow up to be like you, I will never leave my kids and wife no matter what we go through, but deep down you’re a nice bloke, always up for stories and funny jokes, see your personality I would like to have, and I will tell you this now because you are my dad, I would like your personality as a full grown person, but I will be there when my family is hurting chorus- ive learnt a lot over the years and growing up, ive learnt from birthdays without my dad showing up, told myself to stop drinking when im throwing up, learnt to stop argueing and stop testing my luck,