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Essay text:
A "real" loser is the person who will do your homework in a valiant attempt to be "cool."
A "total" loser is the intermediate stage of "loser-hood." Once someone has reached this stage, it is very hard for them to turn back. People in this category seem to have an epileptic attack when they laugh. As a bystander, you're not sure whether to save them and grab hold of their tongue or pretend to be completely oblivious to this hysteria. If the bystander did decide to intervene, then he/she would be risking his/her own "coolness," and God forbid that. A "total" loser would stuff his mouth with horseradishes just to be written down in the yearbook as the "most likely" to do anything for attention...
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