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Essay text:
No, I'm homogeneously unqualified to practice medicine in any capacity. I *really* don't have a clue. And no one could be more shocked than me that I've been allowed to rise to a position of such importance and responsibility.
I guess it all started in high school where I was a very bad science student. One day when we were supposed to be dissecting a frog, I accidentally disassembled my desk. Oh, but, you know, I was a popular kid. You know, the other students were always eager to help me out. So you know, during a test whenever I'd get that *confused* look on my face - which was invariably - well, the cheat notes would just start flying! Even the teachers would start whispering answers, you know, *ahem* mitochondria...
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