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I humbly propose that the government create a new department, The Department of Marriage Control and Enforcement (DMCE). It will be the job of this agency to prevent troubled marriages from occurring in the first place and to eliminate divorces all together. After a couple has recited their vows, the tradition of exchanging wedding rings will be abolished. Instead, a DMCA official will lock a steel ring onto the bride and the groom. The steel rings will symbolize the newly wedded couple's commitment to one another and the fact that their future time together has no end. The DMCA official will then weld a three-foot-long chain to each ring, forcing the couple to remain together at all times...
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