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After building some roads, killing off some of the nasty little blue people and walling up the rest, the Romans left, taking the language instruction manual with them.
The British were bored so they invited the barbarians to come over (under Hengist) and "Horsaa?? 'round a bit. The Angles, Saxons, and Jutes brought slightly more refined vocal noises.
All of the vocal sounds of this primitive language were onomatopoeic, being derived from the sounds of battle. Consonants were derived from the sounds of weapons striking a foe. "Sssa?? and "tha?? for example are the sounds of a draw cut, "ka?? is the sound of a solidly landed axe blow, "ba??, "da??, are the sounds of a head dropping onto rock and sod respectively, and "gla?? is the sound of a body splashing into a bog...
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