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When he wants to emphasize a point with a real life person, he uses a third party. When speaking of these contradictory codes that a young boys is taught to live by, Dr. Pollack says: "Boys have had to learn to walk a fine line. Have intimacy without sentimentality, have closeness without long conversations, and empathy without words" (p. 372). This is impossible for anyone to achieve and especially difficult when a young man is being taught by society that this is the key to becoming a true man. Pollack has sharply clarified vital issues of shame and its multiple effects on developing boys. The recent Littleton, CO events should come as no real surprise; the perpetrators had suffered a lifetime of ridicule, exclusion, physical and psychological abuse and shame, quite apart from apparent parental indifference...
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